Stop Asking for Feedback. Ask for Advice.

We're told constantly to ask for feedback — up, down and sideways. But here's the challenge: most people don't actually want to give feedback. They avoid it, they fear it, and when they do offer it, it often says more about them than about you.

Why advice works better than feedback

So what if you asked for advice instead? Almost everyone loves to give advice — and when they're given permission and a safe space to offer it, something more useful tends to emerge. Advice feels generous; feedback feels risky.

The question to try

Next time you're tempted to ask for feedback, try asking instead: what would you do if you were in my shoes? You may be surprised by how much more openly people respond.

Frequently asked questions

Should you ask for feedback or advice?

Often advice works better. People are reluctant to give feedback but happy to give advice, so 'what would you do in my shoes?' tends to surface more useful input.

Why do people avoid giving feedback?

Because it feels risky and exposing, so it gets softened or avoided — and when given, it often reflects the giver more than the receiver.